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My sister came to Charleston for work. I brought her an a few others out to dinner. The service was horrible. Our dinner took over 4 hours because the server kept forgetting about us. So I complained!
Apparently this was a big no-no. The “operating partner” of the company that owns several restaurants in Charleston, plus the hotel where I work called me in for a meeting. I’d never met this man before. He refused to shake my hand upon greeting, and then went on to tell me how stupid I was for complaining about the service at a restaurant that was owned by the company I worked for.
I did not see his point. Bad service is bad service. So, I submitted the following letter and never went back:
After an appropriate period of deliberation, I have come to the decision to tender my resignation, effective Monday, June 30th.
Please know that I still maintain a high level of respect for you as a manager and colleague, and I thank you sincerely for the support and assistance you have offered me in each of those roles. I have been proud to work for your company; it has been a journey that has provided me an unparalleled foundation to move forward to new and exciting opportunities.
As such, I have decided to become a professional pirate. It has always been a dream of mine to live the life of a swashbuckling corsair, beholden to none and master of all I survey. Once my crew of unabashed rogues is assembled, we shall take to the capacious expanse of the high seas to pursue fortune, fame, and hair-raising adventure.
Our path may not be comforted by porcine operating partners such as yourself, but we shall nonetheless move forward to carve a name for ourselves in the annals of bold insurgency and death-defying derring-do. With keen blade at my hip and a Jolly Roger flapping high above me, I believe I will have found my true calling.
Please note that I am currently accepting applications for First Officer, if you are at all interested in applying. Me hearties would warmly welcome a scallywag such as the likes of you. I will provide a full medical and dental plan, which will offer immediate coverage of all maladies other than scurvy and the occasional bout of rickets.
(Hereafter to be known as Captain BoneHead)
I returned to the hotel a few days later. My manager gave me a smile, and told me I had to go. He said that my letter had been circulated around all of the restaurants and the hotel, generating a lot of laughter, and that Daren had “banned” me from the hotel. Alas, I’m pretty sure I got the last laugh!
If you ever visit Charleston, stay away from the following restaurants:
Coast bar and grill
Rue De Jon
Yes, I am a disgruntled employee. The asshole called me stupid and a bonehead!